Premium ContentMouse over Home then click on Premium Content for information.Brad Dickson's humor column, "Breaking Brad" appears daily on Omaha.com and in the World-Herald. To read more from Brad, check out his columnist archive at omaha.com/dickson and follow him on twitter.
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Omaha Police Chief Alex Hayes may be in line for a $35,000 raise which would bring his salary to $165,670. I have a better idea - just give him 3 cents of every parking ticket written downtown, he'll make millions.
Serena Williams showed up for the ESPY Awards in a hot pink, skintight, low-cut outfit. Talk about embarrassing. Figure skater Johnny Weir wore the exact same outfit.
When she saw her sister in a hot pink, skintight, low cut outfit, Venus Williams said, "Do we have a match today?"
A mistrial was declared in the Roger Clemens trial after jurors mistakenly saw a video of a U.S. Congressman talking about a deposition. Doesn't anything go wrong these days without a member of Congress being involved?
In Ohio, thieves tried to steal a $157 painting from a Taco Bell. Stop the voting, we have a winner in the "Lowest Rent Art Thieves" contest.
The nation's largest teachers union has endorsed President Obama for re-election. And because of all the disrespect he gets, the nation's largest substitute teachers union has endorsed Tim Pawlenty.
Teachers like Obama. While he hasn't improved their economic standing he has brought the rest of the nation down to the teachers' level.
According to a new study, there are five applicants for every job opening. Unless you're talking about the GOP presidential nominee, in which case there are something like 274 applicants.
A new GOP ad compares the Obama economic plan to a car going off a cliff. When they first saw the ad a group of GOP strategists said, "Too subtle?"
The headline on USAtoday.com read "Another Reason To Avoid Deer Ticks." How many reasons do we need? Isn't the fact that they're deer ticks enough reason?
Maria Shriver purchased a $10 million Los Angeles mega-mansion. I don't know, if it were me I'd want a place small enough that I didn't need a housekeeper.
A Southern California woman who's going through a divorce allegedly tied up her estranged husband, poisoned him and cut off his penis. This is actually one of the least acrimonious divorces I've heard about.
Reportedly, the man was stable and in good spirits ... I think not!
According to a new survey, people who eat lots of fast food tend to engage in risky behavior like speeding, binge drinking, taking drugs, and riskiest of all, getting back in line at the fast food drive through.
A phony flight attendant used a fake ID to get a job working for American Eagle Airlines. Alert passengers realized he wasn't a real flight attendant when he didn't bump them with the beverage cart, his nerves weren't constantly frayed and he offered them free food.
A Western Arizona man has been sentenced to three months in jail for shooting his Camaro because it wouldn't start. OK, this verdict does anger me. Apparently, members of the jury have never owned a used car.
At the Alameda County (Calif.) Fair, the world's largest burger was just cooked - 777 pounds. You know Americans. Afterward, the crowd insisted it be super-sized to 907 pounds.
According to British researchers, toddlers should receive three hours of exercise per day. As if it isn't annoying enough to be seated next to a crying baby on a plane, next time that toddler could be doing Jazzercise.
Two astronauts on the shuttle Atlantis went for a six and a half hour space walk. Six and a half hours. During the walk Tyler Gabbert enrolled at three different schools.
The Omaha Nighthawks signed Eric Crouch, apparently to play quarterback. Quarterback is the second most important position in the Nighthawks organization right after beer vendor.
As part of its self-imposed punishment for giving student-athletes money to buy too many textbooks, NU put itself on probation for two years. Two years is a long time at NU. That's 14 tuition increases from now.
In Los Angeles, a robbery of an armored car netted $1 million. In a related story, the Dodgers were able to make payroll this week.
In Pamplona, Spain, the Running of the Bulls is under way. In the U.S. we have something similar. It's called "Southwest Airlines boarding."
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