As a 29-year old white heterosexual man with no disabilities (except for the few gray locks that had started to sprout on my head), I had never experienced discrimination.

Then I became a dad.

I suddenly found myself at the bottom of a parenting pedestal with mom on top and dad clinging to its base. Mom certainly deserved to be there with the endurance of stretch marks, excruciating labor pains and the opening of the 24/7 milk machine, but what about dad?

I, like more and more men in today's society, wanted to be an involved dad who parented with my wife as an equal partner. Even though I had little experience and almost no confidence, I still believed it was vital that I be there for every decision, every scrape and every moment as much as possible. However, not everyone I met thought I could or should be equal to mom.

It was what I came to understand as “Dad Discrimination.”

I experienced my first incident of dad discrimination when we took a tour of the hospital shortly before our first child was born. The woman who showed us around the maternity floor completely ignored me. She made eye contact and only communicated with my wife.

I understood that my wife was going to be the star of the show, so to speak, but I had thought that by being her birthing coach, her partner and her advocate I was taking on an important role in the birthing process, which would begin to prepare me to be an equal partner in parenting our child.

Instead, I was made to feel like I barely mattered.

When I began to stay home with our firstborn, I experienced more dad discrimination when I started taking our daughter to a weekly community playgroup. I was usually ignored by most of the moms who were there, even those who attended regularly like me. If I attempted to add something to a conversation it was often pushed aside as if my comments were not as important as theirs.

I understood it was unusual for a dad to be there and that my presence may have made the moms uncomfortable. Still, it sent me a clear message:

I did not belong.

Throughout my eight years as a father, I have continually felt the sting of dad discrimination. At the park when a mom hovers closer to her children out of fear for her child's safety when I arrive with our kids or when someone refers to me as “Mr. Mom,” which suggests that I am a poor substitute for mom and questions my masculinity or when a working dad asks how I can handle taking care of our kids all day because he doesn't think he is capable of taking care of his kids for five minutes by himself.

And it's not just me as an at-home dad who encounters this discrimination. All dads experience it and our media perpetuates it. Movies such as “Cheaper By the Dozen” where mom leaves dad in charge; TV commercials such as a recent one by AT&T where a cell phone is required to help dad with a crying baby; and TV shows such as “Everybody Loves Raymond” where, as Cat Koehler explained in a blog last month the dad just doesn't have a clue, all show a dad who is incapable of caring for his children and must be “saved” by mom. These are meant to be humorous but actually serve to keep dads in their place as the “lesser parent.”

Imagine if these instead showed a woman who was trying and failing at traditional male jobs such as being a firefighter or a surgeon. I doubt anyone would be laughing.

Treating dads as less important parents makes them feel inferior and keeps dads from being the involved, compassionate men their families need. Research by Yale University child psychology professor Kyle Pruett has shown that a father who is active in his child's life decreases things like teen pregnancy and drug abuse, stuff that can ruin families.

Because of this, I believe that dads should share the parenting pedestal with moms and be treated as equal parents. They should be valued and respected for their parenting role rather than ignored and ridiculed.

Eliminating dad discrimination will empower dads to be more active in their children's lives which, parenting experts such as Dr. Pruett and many others believe, will create stronger families with children who are happier and healthier.

And maybe moms will appreciate the company at the top of the parenting pedestal.

Al Watts is the vice-president of Daddyshome, Inc. – The National At-Home Dad Network and an at-home dad of four children living in west Omaha.

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