I am an avid reader. I am pretty sure it was the land of make-believe that sustained me through childhood, my own and my children's. I love to get lost in a great book.

How do I find time to read?

Well, it's quite simple really. When I see the pile of laundry on the couch waiting to be folded, and then I look at the end table with my most recent engrossing novel, I sit down and read. There. I made time to read.

I will immerse myself in any type of quality novel. I can be kind of a book snob, only reading those that have a great plot, storyline, etc. I do not waste my time in novels where the only thing that changes from one book to another is the names and places, lest you think I am only into sultry romance.

That being said, there are books I shy away from, if not completely disdain. Self-help is near the bottom of my list because I already know that I am a stinker. Why do I need a book to tell me that, and then provide me with more ways for me to not meet expectations? But my actual fear resides between the hardback covers of parenting books.

Nothing can ruin a great trip to the bookstore for me like a stack of how-to-raise-your-kids-right books.

Seriously, thumb through enough of them and there is no one doing anything right. So now all that I have gleaned is that I have failed, am failing and will continue to fail (unless I adhere to these standards, in this book, which is in contradiction the book right next to it.).

Aagh!

Why does it seem as though all parenting books are written for Type A personality parents? How can I possibly expect my children, especially the one with my personality, to adhere to rules that I cannot maintain for myself?

For example, in the Toddlerwise books, it maintains that children need routine. I totally agree. They lose me on the practical side of the issue. They suggest that a child dress himself and make his bed before he leaves his room in the morning. Umm. OK. Does that mean I have to? If it is a day off and we aren't going anywhere, it's Jammie Day!!! So to the Type A folks, that's our routine. It just changes sometimes.

Another great title that caught my eye was, "You're a Good Mom (and Your Kids Aren't so Bad Either)."

Now, that is just a refreshing title. I am anxiously awaiting its sequel: "You're Not as Bad a Mom as the Stranger in the Store Thinks You Are." Finally, practical advice on a practical level!

I am not going to say anything about the toilet-training books. I am still slightly depressed from my harrowing experience over three years ago with my oldest child. If I delve too deeply, the suppressed memories will return and it will get very ugly.

I don't want you to get the wrong idea about my parenting philosophy. I am currently facilitating a group on Parenting with Love and Logic. I just don't think I am going to find all the answers in a book. Good guidelines, yes. Helpful suggestions, yes. But when it comes to the wrong way and right way to parent, that can only be found in conjunction with experience.

I want my boys to grow up to be great men. I want them to know about honor and respect and responsibility. I understand that I must instill in them these values while they are young, so that these incredible traits can grow to maturity in their adolescent and college years.

So the next time I head to the book store, I am headed straight for literary classics. There is a lot less judgment and consternation in those books. Or better yet, someone should write a book on how Mr. and Mrs. Darcy parented their offspring. Now, that's some advice I'd take.

Judy Daniell is married with three sons. She works part-time.